Robin and Ralph have been married for 15 years and notice they have gotten comfortable majoring on each other's minuses. It is easy to let the compliments and pursuits fall by the wayside as time together accumulates. It is excellent that they are looking at this now.
Is it customary for us to catch people doing things right and well, either at home or away?
When someone does something extraordinary, it's easy to compliment, do, or say something positive.
We expect good behavior and actions from people. But when they are continually doing things right and well, it can become mundane and easy to miss, making the focus now on what they are doing wrong.
Think about young children growing up. How much negativity do they hear or experience?
Of course, children must be corrected and reminded of their well-being and safety. We work with them on correcting what is wrong and unhealthy. But I often wonder if I balance catching the wrong as well as catching them doing things right and well.
We all need wins under our belt.
I can especially be hard on myself and forget, "Do I catch myself doing things right, or am I my own worst critic? Do I celebrate my wins enough?" [Blind Spot]
Spending so much time on the road, "Do I compliment drivers if I'm on the highway and they drive at the speed limit? Do I compliment them if I'm on the freeway and the slow traffic is in the right-hand lane? Do I compliment those who signal to change lanes and warn me of their intentions?" [Blind Spot]
It goes without saying if I feel threatened on the roadway, I will do whatever it takes to escape harm. Those kinds of drivers are prevalent. I have noticed when I'm in a hurry or anxious about something, I am the most critical of others; this could be about their driving or mannerisms at home or in the office. [Blind Spot]
When I am anxious, I don't see others do much of anything right, well, or worth complimenting. But it's interesting how I change and become much kinder and even more tolerant when things are going well, and I feel good about myself. [Blind Spot]
How about you? Are you nervous Nelly, or anxious Andy? Are you looking for opportunities to catch people doing things right and well and compliment them?
This is certainly something I can do more of; we all need to be caught doing things right and well.
Watch for the blind spots.
Please comment, like, and share, I appreciate your input.
You can get a copy of my book below.
Blind Spots in Relationships
What I don't know I don't know about Myself
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