I remember the story a woman told me about her son's murder. He was just a young man murdered by another young man who didn't even know him. It was due to an argument in a parking lot. The murderer pulled a gun and shot her son 3 times in the chest.
He was immediately arrested and taken to jail. It took almost a year before his trial. He was convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to 30 years in prison.
About six months passed, and the mother went to prison to see her son's murderer. She boldly told him that she had forgiven him completely. She spoke with true conviction. She said she would not carry the weight of unforgiveness, which was his burden for the rest of his life. She left him weeping on the floor.
Now, I get it; this is an unusual story. At its core, forgiveness is an act of self-liberation. It doesn't erase the past but loosens its grip, allowing one to move forward with clarity and strength.
Forgiveness is less about excusing someone's actions and more about being released from resentment. It's essential to fully acknowledge and process the hurt without minimizing or magnifying it. While this doesn't excuse what happened, it allows me to detach and regain a sense of emotional freedom.
Forgiveness is ultimately a conscious choice. It isn't a feeling that suddenly appears; it's a decision to let go of resentment, even if I don't feel ready. Forgiveness frees me, not necessarily the other person.
Practicing compassion can also ease the process. It is easy for me to act from my wounds, fears, or ignorance, and recognizing this can soften the hold of bitterness. However, forgiveness does not mean continuing a harmful relationship. Setting boundaries is essential, as you can release resentment while maintaining the necessary distance for your well-being. At its core, forgiveness is an act of self-liberation. It doesn't erase the past but loosens its grip, allowing me to move forward with clarity and strength.
This story is true, but not all can forgive the way this mom forgave.
How about you, is there someone you need to forgive? It could be yourself.
Watch for the blind spots.
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