Poverty in Relationships

What does this mean? To me, “poverty" in relationships signifies a deficiency of emotional, mental, or spiritual richness in connections.

I play many roles in life, and if I look at all of them, I can imagine there are some I could do a better job in. I am a husband, dad, uncle, grandfather, cousin, friend, leader, Christian, and the list goes on. How about you? Have you thought of the roles you play?

As I look at my roles and ask myself, "Could I do better?" The answer is, of course.

I found it fascinating that sometimes I allow myself to live in relationship poverty. It's a tremendous blind spot, and I can see that my relationships could be better regardless of what role I play. It is fascinating that even though I know it, I generally don't make a plan to improve it.

I look at my finances and see what I can do to improve my spending or savings. I look at where I live and what I drive and don't think twice about improving those two things. It is amazing that as important as relationships are, I spend very little time or attention on maintaining or building them.

When I first meet someone, I put my best foot forward, showing the most polished version of myself. But over time—especially in long-term relationships—my more authentic, less polished side begins to surface. I can highlight myself as a victim in relationships. I can blame the other person, and when I blame, I don't have to change because I am not culpable in any way.

What would it take to move my relationships from poverty to extraordinary? Sometimes, I have allowed myself to live more unhappy than joyful. What a tragedy.

Do I want to continue to live in impoverished relationships, or do I want to go to work and build relationships that I feel proud to belong to?

How about you?

Watch for the blind spots.