Speaking Truth

There’s a fine line between being honest and being hurtful. People often say, “I’m just being honest,” but what they really mean is, “I didn’t filter my words, and I don’t want to take responsibility for the impact.”

Honesty with compassion tells the truth with care. Brutal honesty tells the truth like a punch.

Here’s a quick story:

Jenna was struggling with her presentation skills. After a team meeting, her colleague Tom said, “That was painful to watch. You really need to get it together.” Ouch. That was brutal honesty, raw and unnecessary.

Another coworker, Lisa, pulled Jenna aside and said, “I know presenting isn’t your favorite thing, but I see potential in your message. Do you want to run it by me next time before the meeting?” The same concern, but a very different delivery.

One shut Jenna down. The other lifted her while still being honest.

Brutal honesty often feels like an emotional dump—more about the speaker’s frustration than the listener’s growth. It rarely leads to change, just defensiveness or retreat.

Honesty with compassion, on the other hand, invites connection. It says, “I care about you enough to be real, but I also care enough to be kind.”

I try to check my tone when I want to speak a hard truth. Am I irritated or calm? I ask myself if my motive is to help or to vent. And I pause to consider the timing. Is this the right moment for the other person or just convenient for me? These small pauses help me stay clear and grounded.

I don’t need to sugarcoat or avoid the truth. However, I’ve learned that how I say something determines whether it builds trust or creates distance.

If I want to be truly helpful, I speak with honesty and with heart. That’s when truth becomes a gift instead of a wound.

How would you rate your honesty?

Watch for the blind spots.

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