What gifts do I bring each day? How I show up at work or in my personal life shapes the energy I offer. I can bring positivity, calm, and focus or unintentionally drain those around me. The light I try to project can become fractured if I'm not mindful. Without being open to feedback, I may radiate an energy that creates distance rather than connection.
During my career in engineering and construction, I believed I was offering valuable gifts. I was determined and dependable, someone who could push projects through to completion. My superiors appreciated these qualities. However, my peers and subordinates experienced me differently. To them, I was inflexible, convinced I was always right, and, at times, less knowledgeable than they were. While I thought I was resilient and driven, my rigidity often stifled collaboration. I failed to see how the gifts I thought I was offering were being overshadowed by how I showed up.
I wish I had recognized this disconnect sooner, but I didn't. For years, I struggled to hear feedback without becoming defensive. This pattern wasn't limited to work; it followed me into my personal life. Family and friends tried to tell me how my energy impacted them, but I resisted. I told myself I had survived tough times alone, so why should anyone suggest I needed to change? I saw myself as strong, but that strength became a barrier to connection.
It wasn't until I experienced setbacks, missed opportunities, and strained relationships that I started to listen. I realized that, although I intended to be helpful and driven, my energy often came across as controlling or disconnected. The gifts I offered weren't landing as I had hoped.
Looking back, I see how my perception of my actions often differed from how others experienced me. That realization, though humbling, became a gift in itself. It taught me the importance of self-awareness and the value of feedback. Only by aligning my intentions with how others receive them can I offer the best version of my gifts, the kind that uplifts and connects rather than fractures.
How about you? Do others see your perceived gifts the way you see them?
Watch for the blind spots.
Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp
Comments