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I recently talked to a couple who had been married for six years. They reported the luster of their relationship had faded. We discussed how when they first met, and the few years after marriage, they loved each other’s company, and now they tended to focus on each other’s blemishes that sometimes frustrate them.   I recalled a speaker who was talking about relationships and mentioned the Pareto Principle, which is a twist on the well-known 80/20 rule. It suggests that in any relationship, 80 percent of what we cherish comes from our partner’s strengths, while 20 percent comprises the flaws that might sometimes frustrate us. Over time, as relationships mature, it becomes all too easy to fixate on that 20 percent, the irritations, misunderstandings, and moments of disconnection, while overlooking the abundant 80 percent that nourishes love, support, and companionship.   When a relationship declines, the negative aspects can overshadow the positives. Minor annoyances and unresolved issues tend to magnify in our minds, creating a disproportionate sense of discontent. This mental habit can lead both partners to focus on what’s missing or wrong rather than remembering the qualities that once bound them together. The Preto principle reminds us that a relationship’s value is predominantly built on the good, even if a few flaws capture our attention.   The couple shared the early years of their relationship, and they reveled in 80 percent of shared dreams, laughter, and unwavering support. Over time, however, the persistent 20 percent cast a shadow. Robin grew frustrated by his forgetfulness regarding small details, while Ralph became irritated by her tendency to overreact to minor quirks. As both began concentrating on these negative habits, the balance of their relationship shifted, and the strong foundation they once celebrated started to crumble.   This illustrates a common pitfall: when fixating on the 20 percent, the overall beauty of the connection fades away. To rejuvenate the relationship, it is crucial to consciously celebrate the 80 percent shared memories, love, and everyday acts of kindness that define true partnership.   How about you? Is your relationship declining?    Watch for the blind spots. 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I have learned that emotional intelligence (EQ) is as crucial as intellectual ability (IQ) for effective communication. Even with a high IQ, without emotional maturity and being aware of and managing my emotions, the message I intend to convey can easily be distorted or lost. The ability to control and express my feelings healthily enhances relationships and improves outcomes in every situation.   A few years ago, I encountered a moment that underscored the importance of EQ. I was working on an important project with a colleague, and our differing approaches led to rising tension. Confident in my ideas and strategy, I was ready to steer the discussion. However, frustration bubbled up when my colleague challenged one of my proposals. Instead of taking a moment to listen and reflect, I snapped at him, dismissing his suggestions with biting sarcasm. I convinced myself it was just a joke, but I soon saw that my words had cut deep. His expression fell, and he withdrew into silence, effectively stalling our communication.   That evening, I reflected on the incident and realized that despite my sharp intellect, my failure to regulate my emotions had created an insurmountable barrier between us. It wasn’t merely a clash of ideas; my emotional immaturity had sabotaged our conversation and damaged our working relationship.   The next day, I apologized sincerely to my colleague, explaining that my reaction was a lapse in emotional control rather than a true reflection of my thoughts. This honest conversation became a turning point. We resumed a respectful, productive dialogue by addressing the underlying emotions and learning to value each other’s perspectives more fully.   This experience taught me that while IQ can drive innovative ideas and solutions, EQ is essential for conveying them effectively. Nurturing emotional intelligence means learning to manage my feelings so that my communication is clear, respectful, and ultimately successful in building strong, collaborative relationships.   How about you?   How effective is your EQ?   Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I was a user of sarcasm until I finally realized the adverse effects of it. I often notice sarcasm in everyday conversations. Sometimes, it comes off as humor, but at other times, it can cut like a knife. I have used sarcasm, and when someone is offended, I hide behind the excuse, “It was just a joke.” By definition, sarcasm is a form of verbal irony where someone deliberately says the opposite of what they mean, usually in a mocking or cutting tone. While it might be intended as humor, the meaning often gets lost, and what’s meant as playful conversation can quickly become painful.   In close relationships, humor is crucial in easing tension and strengthening bonds. However, when sarcasm is used too frequently, it can have negative consequences. Instead of openly sharing genuine thoughts and emotions, partners may resort to sarcastic remarks to hide insecurities or deflect conflict. Over time, this indirect form of communication can leave me or the other feeling misunderstood and undervalued, with the sting of sarcastic comments building up resentment that overshadows any intended humor.   The obscurity of sarcasm also leads to confusion. A remark intended as a lighthearted jab might be interpreted as a harsh criticism. Without clear context, the true meaning is often lost, resulting in unnecessary conflicts and hurt feelings. This miscommunication makes it difficult for both of us to address the real issues at hand, as the humor of the moment distracts from the underlying emotional content.   Also, over-reliance on sarcasm can create emotional distance. When I habitually use sarcasm, the other may feel that their emotions are not being taken seriously, which can lead to withdrawal and guarded interactions. In the long run, this distancing erodes the intimacy and mutual support essential for a healthy relationship.   While sarcasm might seem harmless when injecting humor into interactions, its repeated use in close relationships can obscure true feelings, create confusion, and foster emotional distance. I now have learned that for my relationships to thrive, clear, sincere communication and honest vulnerability must replace sarcastic exchanges, ensuring that both of us feel truly valued and understood.   How about you? Watch for the blind spots. 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

We all have an internal compass, a guiding force that directs our decisions and interactions with the world. But like any compass, its accuracy depends on calibration, on whether we've consciously set it to our true north or allowed external forces to influence it.   My moral compass is set by self-awareness, lived experience, and an ongoing commitment to personal growth. These were not given to me fully formed; they were shaped and refined through decades of learning, both through formal education and the more profound lessons of life itself.   At my core, my compass is set towards integrity. I believe in speaking truthfully, acting sincerely, and aligning my choices with my values. This isn't always easy. There have been moments when convenience, fear, or uncertainty tempted me to veer off course. But I've learned that when I ignore my compass, the consequences, whether internal conflict or external fallout, are never worth the temporary relief of compromise.   Another key element of my compass is compassion. I've worked with countless individuals navigating personal struggles and seen the power of being seen and understood. Judgment creates distance; empathy builds bridges. I choose to err on the side of kindness, not because kindness is always deserved but because it aligns with who I want to be.   Then there is responsibility. I take ownership of my actions, my words, and my impact. I don't control much that happens in life, but I can control my response. Growth means continuously asking, Am I showing up as the person I aspire to be? If not, I apply a course correction.   Finally, there's wisdom, an ever-expanding awareness of what I don't know. Life has humbled me enough to realize that certainty is often an illusion. My moral compass remains set, but I keep an open mind, willing to refine my understanding as new insights emerge.   Have I set a moral compass with intention, or am I drifting on borrowed beliefs? For me, the choice is clear. I set my compass daily, with integrity, compassion, responsibility, and wisdom leading the way.   How about you? What calibrates your compass? Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Oh, to face my truth. It’s one thing to research a topic, but another to realize I’m in the middle of it. [Blind Spot]     I’ve been looking at the hazards of playing it small and can now see that I’ve been doing that: playing life safe, holding back, and waiting.   How often have I hesitated to speak up when I had something valuable to say? How often have I avoided opportunities, downplayed my strengths, or waited for the “perfect moment”?  Not because I lack ability but because I fear what stepping up might demand of me. Playing it small feels safe, but it keeps me stuck.   I’ve seen that fear of failure, rejection, or even success has been running the show. Stepping into my full potential means taking responsibility for my gifts, embracing visibility, and risking criticism. Growth demands discomfort.   But here’s my truth: playing it small doesn’t limit me; it also limits others. When I hold back, I deny the world the benefit of my talents, wisdom, and leadership. Someone out there needs what only I can offer.   In order to insure I am not playing it small: First, I must recognize the excuses I tell myself, “I’m not ready.” “Someone else can do it better.” “What if I fail?” These are fear-based thoughts, not truths. The key is acknowledging them without letting them dictate my actions.   Next, I need to take imperfect action. Waiting for the perfect moment is just procrastination. Growth happens in the doing, not the waiting. It’s okay to start messy, to feel afraid, and to make mistakes. What matters is moving forward.   I must also surround myself with people who inspire, challenge, and push me beyond my comfort zone. Their courage reminds me of my own.   Most importantly, I must own my values. I don’t need permission to take up space. My voice, my perspective, and my gifts matter. Playing it small won’t keep me safe; it will only keep me invisible.   How about you? Are you also playing it small?   Watch for the blind spots.   🔎  Struggling with Misunderstandings? Constant Confusion? Your blind spots could be the problem! Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

How often have I told myself, " I'll start tomorrow"?  Whether it's a new project, a fitness routine, or making a difficult phone call, the hardest part is often just taking that first step. Starting something new brings uncertainty.  I hesitate because I fear failure, feel overwhelmed, or convince myself I'm not ready. My mind builds up the task into something so big that it seems insurmountable. The act of beginning is what creates the momentum needed to keep going. Think about learning to swim. The scariest moment is standing at the pool's edge, wondering if I'll sink or float. But the second I jump in, I realize it's not as bad as I imagined. I adjust and move around, and before long, I'm swimming. The same applies to any goal. I don't have to be perfect at the start; I just must begin. Procrastination often disguises itself as preparation. I spend hours researching, planning, and organizing instead of simply acting. While preparation is valuable, too much of it can become an excuse to delay. The key is to start before I feel ready. Clarity comes from action, not thought. I use this trick to overcome hesitation. It’s the five-second rule. I count down from five and then physically move into action. If I need to write, as I usually do, I open my laptop and type one sentence. If I need to exercise, I put on my shoes and step outside. These small, immediate actions break through resistance and propel me forward. Once I begin, momentum takes over. Small wins build confidence; before I know it, I'm making real progress. The task that once seemed overwhelming becomes manageable. I can't afford to wait for motivation to show up; acting is what creates motivation. I start small and messy, but I start because the hardest part of completing anything is simply beginning. How about you? Is starting sometimes tricky? Watch for the blind spots.   Are your blind spots holding you back? 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Get Blind Spots in Relationships  today! 📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Lately, I've been paying close attention to the choices I make throughout the day and how they shape my future. Some decisions are obvious, while others are so subtle they almost go unnoticed. Yet, each one nudges me in a direction, either moving me closer to my potential or pulling me further away. Over time, these small choices compound, creating a reality far beyond what I initially imagined.   Take my weight, for example. If I'm ordering from a menu, it's easy to justify indulging in comfort food. After all, one meal won't make a difference on the scale tomorrow. In the short term, that choice feels harmless, but repeated small indulgences add up, and before I know it, the scale creeps into "oh no territory. Then comes the panic, drastic dieting, skipping meals, and trying to undo weeks or months of small choices with an extreme fix. I step on the scale a few days later, only to find little to no change, or worse, an extra pound. Frustrating, right?   The same applies to fitness. If I decide to get in shape and commit to two-hour gym sessions every day, I'll likely burn out quickly. But I'm more likely to succeed if I start with just 20 minutes, four times a week. The goal is to show up and build consistency.   Tracking progress makes a big difference, too. Results often take time to appear, which can be discouraging. But I see progress faster if I track small wins daily, whether drinking more water, taking more steps, or choosing healthier meals. That momentum keeps me going.   What once felt impossible becomes inevitable because of small, consistent choices.   The lesson? My life is shaped by what I repeatedly do. I don't need drastic, overnight changes; I need small, intentional decisions that, over time, lead to rewarding results. When I focus on what I can do today, no matter how small, I lay the foundation for a future I once thought was out of reach.   Every choice I make builds the life I want or keeps me from it. Which direction are you choosing?   Watch for the blind spots.     Great leaders understand their blind spots—do you? Blind Spots in Relationships  is your guide to unlocking self-awareness and building stronger connections. 💡 Get a copy today. 📚 http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Have you ever recited something so many times that it became automatic, losing its meaning?  This is the effect of rote memorization—repeating words until they are ingrained but not necessarily understood.   Consider the Lord's Prayer:   "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name..."   Millions of us have repeated these words in churches and homes for centuries. Yet, many don't stop to consider what "hallowed"  means (it means "sacred" or "holy")  or how asking for "daily bread"  is not just about food but about relying on God for all needs.   Take the Pledge of Allegiance:   "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America..."   Many of us learn these words in school and repeat them daily. But how often do people pause to reflect on what "allegiance"  means? Do they consider the weight of " liberty and justice for all"?  When recited mindlessly, the pledge becomes background noise rather than a meaningful statement of values.   I often find myself reciting the pledge and the Lord's Prayer  so rapidly in a group that I may as well not be saying them. This frustrates me because the depth of both gets lost in the rapid quotation.   Other well-known phrases suffer the same fate:   "How are you?"  – Often asked out of habit, with little interest in the answer.   "I'm sorry for your loss."  is a standard condolence that, unless said with sincerity, may come across as empty.   "Have a nice day!"  – A polite phrase that, when spoken mechanically, feels impersonal.   Rote recitation isn't inherently bad. It helps me memorize important concepts, prayers, and national commitments. But when words become automatic, I risk losing their depth.   When saying these quietly alone, I slow down and think about what I want my words to reflect on during these familiar phrases. Instead of just saying the Pledge of Allegiance,  I consider what freedom and unity mean. When praying, I focus on each line's meaning.   When I use words with intention, they carry power.  They can inspire, heal, and connect.   Using rote recitation is a waste of my time.   Watch for the blind spots.     Are your blind spots holding you back? 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Get Blind Spots in Relationships  today! 📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I remember the story a woman told me about her son's murder. He was just a young man murdered by another young man who didn't even know him. It was due to an argument in a parking lot. The murderer pulled a gun and shot her son 3 times in the chest.   He was immediately arrested and taken to jail. It took almost a year before his trial. He was convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to 30 years in prison.   About six months passed, and the mother went to prison to see her son's murderer. She boldly told him that she had forgiven him completely. She spoke with true conviction. She said she would not carry the weight of unforgiveness, which was his burden for the rest of his life. She left him weeping on the floor.   Now, I get it; this is an unusual story. At its core, forgiveness is an act of self-liberation. It doesn't erase the past but loosens its grip, allowing one to move forward with clarity and strength.   Forgiveness is less about excusing someone's actions and more about being released from resentment. It's essential to fully acknowledge and process the hurt without minimizing or magnifying it. While this doesn't excuse what happened, it allows me to detach and regain a sense of emotional freedom.   Forgiveness is ultimately a conscious choice. It isn't a feeling that suddenly appears; it's a decision to let go of resentment, even if I don't feel ready. Forgiveness frees me , not necessarily the other person.   Practicing compassion can also ease the process. It is easy for me to act from my wounds, fears, or ignorance, and recognizing this can soften the hold of bitterness. However, forgiveness does not mean continuing a harmful relationship. Setting boundaries is essential, as you can release resentment while maintaining the necessary distance for your well-being. At its core, forgiveness is an act of self-liberation. It doesn't erase the past but loosens its grip, allowing me to move forward with clarity and strength.   This story is true, but not all can forgive the way this mom forgave.   How about you, is there someone you need to forgive? It could be yourself.   Watch for the blind spots. Are your blind spots holding you back? 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Get Blind Spots in Relationships  today! 📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I have learned so much by talking to others. A friend of mine had a heart too open for this world. From childhood, she felt the emotions of others as if they were her own. When her mother was sad, she carried her sorrow. When a friend was anxious, she lay awake at night, restless with their worries. She wasn’t just listening; she was feeling .   At first, her deep empathy seemed like a gift. People gravitated toward her, seeking comfort. But over time, it became a heavy burden. Crowded places overwhelmed her. The news left her emotionally drained. Even joy felt foreign because she had spent so much time carrying pain. Her relationships suffered, and she lost herself in trying to help everyone.   “You can care without carrying ,” her girlfriend once told her. But she didn’t know how to turn it off until an older man at a café offered her a simple truth: A candle that burns at both ends disappears.   That moment changed everything. She realized that empathy wasn’t about drowning in others’ emotions but about witnessing  them with care while keeping her heart intact.   Empathy is what makes us human. It strengthens relationships, improves communication, and inspires acts of kindness. However, unchecked it can lead to emotional exhaustion, blurred boundaries, and even manipulation by those who take advantage of compassionate hearts. Too much emotional empathy can lead to burnout, while cognitive empathy, understanding others without absorbing their emotions, can be a healthier balance. The key is learning to honor emotions without being consumed by them.   Finding balance means learning to care without carrying the weight of the world. It requires setting boundaries and recognizing that compassion does not mean sacrificing oneself. Self-compassion is as vital as compassion for others. By shifting from feeling to action, empathy becomes a force for healing rather than a burden of suffering.   Like my friend, I must learn that empathy is not about losing myself in the suffering of others; it’s about being present, offering support, and keeping my light strong so I can truly make a difference.   I choose to care, not to carry.   Watch for the blind spots.     "Think you’ve got it all figured out? 🤔 Your blind spots might have other plans. Dive into Blind Spots in Relationships  and find out what you don’t know you don’t know. 💡 Get a copy today. 📚 http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I recently spoke with a man who had lived in Houston for 18 years. He shared that he felt lost at work, in his family, and within himself. Nothing seemed to matter much anymore. He had been drifting for years, and now, looking around, he realized his life was going nowhere. As he put it, he was "asleep at the wheel."   As we talked, he deeply desired to revitalize his life at home, work, and relationships. He described the distance between himself and his oldest son and how their once-strong bond had weakened over time. At work, he had taken a back seat, no longer as creative or engaged as he once was, and he feared his lack of energy was becoming apparent to his boss. On a personal level, he felt a growing sense of melancholy and a loss of purpose.   A slow drift into apathy had left him isolated. All that once mattered had slipped through his fingers. But as we continued our conversations over the following weeks, something within him began to stir. A quiet voice whispered a single word: "Restore."   As we explored what restore could mean for him, he realized it wasn't about turning back time or erasing mistakes. It was about rebuilding, step by step, from where he stood. For years, he had numbed himself with distractions, blamed circumstances, and convinced himself it was too late.   We discussed ways he could begin reconnecting with his 17-year-old son. He decided to reach out to his old mentor, who had once believed in him when he had stopped believing in himself. Most importantly, he committed to facing himself— choosing integrity over avoidance, effort over excuses, and hope over despair.   As he embraced these new choices, something inside him shifted. Restoration had already begun.   His journey was a powerful reminder that I, too, may need restoration. It's so easy to let circumstances take control, to drift without realizing it. But the word restore holds so much possibility. Restoration doesn't happen overnight, but it starts with a single step. No matter how far I've drifted, the power to rebuild is always within me.   Watch for the blind spots.     " Think you’ve got it all figured out? 🤔 Your blind spots might have other plans. Dive into Blind Spots in Relationships  and find out what you don’t know you don’t know. 💡 Get copy today. 📚 http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I like the sure bet. I have tended to play it safe in life. Looking back, my fear of failure fueled it. Sometimes, I didn't try out for things I could have easily done, but fear of failure or rejection kept me playing it safe. Dang! What kind of thinking was that?  Too often, I have compared myself to others who have done better or have more, and I have fallen short.   Fear of failure is one of the biggest obstacles between me and success. It keeps me stuck, paralyzed by doubt, and afraid to take risks. While it's natural to fear failure, allowing it to control my decisions comes at a high price. How many times have I missed opportunities due to fear?   Fear can dictate my results if I avoid challenges that could lead to growth. Whether starting a business, pursuing a dream job, or speaking up in a meeting, fear makes me play it safe at the expense of incredible possibilities. It also limits my personal growth. Failure is one of life's greatest teachers, offering valuable lessons that help me improve. By avoiding failure, I miss the chance to learn, adapt, and evolve into a better version of myself.   Beyond lost opportunities, fear of failure can lead to regret. Imagine looking back on life and realizing that fear stopped me from chasing what I wanted. The regret of never trying is often worse than failing itself, making us hesitant to take risks even when the stakes are low.   Instead of seeing failure as an endpoint, I should reframe it as a learning experience. Taking small risks can build resilience and focusing on progress rather than perfection helps me move forward. Most importantly, I must remember that failure is temporary, but regret lasts forever. The fear of failure might be strong, but the cost of letting it control my life is even greater. Would I rather fail or live with the regret of never trying? Perhaps I don't want to know the price I have paid because I am looking for a sure bet.   My truth is that failure isn't the end. Never trying is.   Watch for the blind spots. Are your blind spots holding you back? 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Get Blind Spots in Relationships  today! 📚 http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp