Search Blog

Relationship secrets often start small and are meant to protect, avoid conflict, or spare someone’s feelings. But they quietly erode trust, connection, and emotional safety over time.   I was talking to a couple a while back. After 25 years of marriage, Rachel found herself withdrawing from Tom. She kept something from him because she didn’t want to disappoint him.   For months, Rachel had been secretly giving money to her sister, who was going through an extremely difficult time. She told herself it wasn’t a big deal. Tom was stressed because of his work, and she knew he might not approve of her decision. She didn’t want to add to his tension.   But the silence between them started to grow. Not feeling good about her decision, Rachel became more guarded, and Tom sensed it. He wondered if she was upset with him or falling out of love. He didn’t know what was wrong, only that something was missing.   What started as a secret act of kindness slowly became a wedge in their connection. Rachel carried guilt, Tom carried doubt, and both felt more alone.   Finally, the guilt was too much for Rachel, so she opened up and confessed. It wasn’t the money that hurt Tom; it was the fact that Rachel hadn’t trusted him enough to share it. He felt excluded from her inner world. Rachel realized her silence had done more harm than honesty ever would have.   Tom needed to look at his contribution to Rachel’s not feeling safe to talk to him.   Secrets damage relationships in subtle but powerful ways. They erode trust, which is the foundation of emotional intimacy. They create emotional distance, replacing closeness with caution. They leave space for painful assumptions and quiet suspicions to grow. Over time, secrets block authentic connection, as we hide parts of ourselves out of fear or guilt. And perhaps most damaging of all, they often surface later in ways that cause more hurt than if they had been shared honestly from the start. Openness may feel risky, but it’s how relationships stay strong. Secrets might feel safer, but the truth, spoken with care, keeps love alive.   Watch for the blind spots. Are your blind spots holding you back? 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #LoveWithoutSecrets #HonestLove #RelationshipTruths #MarriageMatters #TrustIsEverything #CommunicationWins #RelationshipHealing #LoveAndTrust #HeartToHeart #EmotionalIntelligence

“Go big or go home.” We’ve all heard it. Many of us have tried it. Most of us have failed at it. Here’s the truth: when I aim to “go big,” more often than not, I end up going home frustrated and discouraged. In my practice, I see it all the time. People believe that massive success requires massive action. So, they push themselves into unrealistic leaps, thinking it will get them there faster. But the real secret? Tiny steps, taken consistently. It’s the tortoise and the hare. Those who achieve lasting success understand this simple truth: steady, small actions beat big, unsustainable ones every time. Taking tiny steps isn’t passive. It’s powerful. It means you’re showing up daily, sticking to the process, and building momentum. Jim Rohn says, “The smallest of disciplines, practiced every day, start an incredible process that can change our lives forever.” Most people don’t fail from lack of willpower, they fail from lack of consistency. Mark Twain said it well: “The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small, manageable tasks—and then starting on the first one.” If you’re stuck, it’s time to change your actions and behaviors. That’s how habits change—and ultimately, how your life changes. To help you do this, I created a tool called Weekly Display. It’s a simple worksheet that guides you to break your goals into daily, trackable actions. ✍️ Here’s how it works: Write your goal at the top. List daily activities that move you toward it (measurable in minutes, miles, pounds, pages, etc.). Set a weekly target, then track your progress each day—morning and night. At the end of the week, review: What worked? What didn’t? What will I focus on next week? It’s not about grading yourself; it’s about awareness and adjustment. The Weekly Display is the most effective tool I’ve found for changing habits and staying accountable. 👉 Download it today. Start small. Stay steady. Tiny steps, taken consistently, lead to success. Keep looking for the blind spots—and keep building a better you.     Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #SmallStepsBigResults #ConsistencyIsKey #SuccessMindset #DailyHabits #MotivationMonday #SelfImprovement #GoalSetting #GrowthJourney #MakeItHappen #PersonalDevelopment

Relationships become stuck when we repeat the same patterns, especially when they don't work. You say this... I respond with that.   I do this... you do that.   These predictable exchanges form an orbit, a familiar, circular pattern we fall into, even when it leads nowhere.   In space, an orbit is the repetitive path one object takes around another. In relationships, it's the same. We revolve around each other in fixed emotional loops, never solving anything, just spinning. These patterns can lead to disappointment, frustration, and a fractured connection. To break the cycle, we must change our orbit . That means starting new conversations, trying new actions, or responding differently, anything that moves us off the worn path toward resolution and growth.   But here's the challenge: when one person tries to change for the better, the other may resist. The familiar orbit, though unhealthy, feels safe, so they pull the relationship back to what's known, even if it's painful.   We often choose familiarity over health.   So, to create a win-win relationship, I must stay  in my new orbit, even if progress is slow. I must act in ways that show I'm serious about change without triggering defensiveness in the other person.   That could mean:   Operating out of intellect or spirituality rather than anxiety. Refusing to let an argument escalate. Standing firm against being bullied or defamed. Choosing to express difficult thoughts in writing instead of speaking in the heat of the moment. These small but intentional shifts create a new path, a new orbit. And here's the secret: sustained change is the key. I must stay the course long enough for the other person to recognize the benefits of this new way of relating. Will it be easy? No. Will it strengthen the relationship? Absolutely. Be open to noticing and celebrating what makes both of you healthier. Keep building a better you. Above all, stay in the new orbit. Are you flying in a healthy relationship orbit? Watch for the blind spots. 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #BreakTheCycle, #RelationshipGoals, #HealthyLove, #EmotionalGrowth, #ChangeYourOrbit, #PersonalDevelopment, #CommunicationMatters, #MindfulRelationships, #BetterTogether, #SelfGrowth

It is so easy to listen to that voice. That little voice that creeps in and starts whispering doubts:   “Yeah, but I…”   “If only I had…”   “I’m such a screw-up.”   “I’ll never be able to…”   These are the echoes of automatic negative self-talk . Left unchecked, they shape how we see ourselves, not in a good way.   The more I repeat those minuses, the more I start believing them. It’s like the story of the frog in boiling water. The frog doesn’t notice the temperature rising until it’s too late. The same happens when we absorb negativity from others or our inner critic. Slowly, our confidence erodes, and blind spots take over.   Here’s my truth: I am not my mistakes, doubts, or worst days.   Jim Rohn once said, “It’s not what happens, it’s what you do about it.” Struggles are part of life. They build my strength, grit, and appreciation for the good days. Without the valleys, I would never understand the peaks.   So, what can we do?   Have you ever written down 100 good things about yourself?  Yes—100. They are there. Just do it! Look deep.   I begin to shift when I fill my self-talk with that  kind of energy. Positivity becomes a habit, not a hope.   Now, craft a mantra—something simple, powerful, and personal. Repeat it like a breath prayer when your mind drifts to your minuses.   Try something like:   “I am growing stronger every day.”   “I am courageous, generous, and committed.”   “Life may not get easier, but I get wiser, braver, and more resilient.”   Or remember this gem from Henry Ford:   “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind—not with it.”   Take stock of how amazing you already are. Become more aware of those blind spots. And above all, don’t major on your minuses. You have too many gifts to let them go to waste.   Keep building a  “better you” one great thought at a time.   Watch for the blind spots. What if the biggest thing holding you back… is something you can’t even see? 👀 💥  Blind Spots in Relationships  is your wake-up call. Grab your copy today and start seeing things clearly  ➡️  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp  📚✨ #MindsetReset #SpeakLife #SelfLove #PersonalGrowth #DontMajorOnYourMinuses #Motivation #YouAreEnough #GrowthMindset #JimRohn #InspirationDaily

I remember driving my old “beater” down life’s highway in San Angelo, Texas.   The fenders were dented, the paint was rusted, and some windows cracked. It rattled with every bump, bounced off guardrails, and skidded into ditches. Sometimes, it even sent me in the opposite direction. But in that old beater, this was just normal travel.   And just like my car, my life was in rough shape too.   I crashed into conflicts, veered off course, and blamed everything but myself for the damage. The guardrails were “too close.” The potholes were “out to get me.” Other drivers—well, they were just “bad at driving.” But the truth? My beater wasn’t the problem. I was.   The steering, brakes, and gas pedal were all under my control. Yet, I kept driving recklessly, blind to the fact that my habits, my choices, and my blind spots were what kept getting me in trouble.   And people? They didn’t want to ride with me. When they did, they held on tight, hoping for the best. Some even looked at me like I  was the problem.   And honestly? They were right.   It took me a long time to realize that my life, like my car, was in bad shape because of how I was driving. My lack of self-awareness, my unwillingness to take responsibility, and my tendency to ignore warning signs were the real reasons I kept ending up in ditches.   So, I made a decision.   I traded in my beater for something better. I started paying attention, listening, and making course corrections. I learned that humility, self-awareness, and accountability could turn my wreck into a smooth ride.   Now, I drive a full-size SUV.   It’s polished, steady, and dependable. People wave instead of passing me in fear. Life’s highway is an open expressway, with clear signs and bright lights guiding my way.   I traded my pride for wisdom and my recklessness for responsibility, and in return, I’ve gained something far more valuable than a fancy new ride: rich, meaningful relationships.   And that, my friends, is a trade-in worth making.   What are you driving down life’s highway?   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #LifeLessons, #PersonalGrowth, #TransformationJourney, #SelfReflection, #Accountability, #GrowthMindset, #RealTalk, #EmotionalMaturity, #FromStruggleToStrength, #WisdomInTheWreckage

How do you get someone to see their blind spots? Remember, blind spots are things we unknowingly say or do that push others away from us. Bringing someone's awareness to the fact that they are creating an unkind or unpleasant experience for us is a delicate matter. Defensiveness comes when I want to point out a blind spot, and the other feels attacked and wants to deny what feels like finger-pointing. Most of us want to hear good things about ourselves, and when we hear something negative, it puts us in a recoil state. At times, receiving feedback can be very difficult, especially if a lack of confidence or shame may possibly be present. In any relationship, one size does not fit all. What works for one person may not work for another. You must stay agile as you work to get your point across. If you relent, it is much more difficult to restart the process. If you submit to the negative blind spot, it will continue to haunt both of you. To help someone overcome a blind spot means you want to help them create an opportunity to connect and be close instead of creating distance. It is to create an opening where both people win. Making the statement, "I'm in a double bind, it is dang if I do and danged if I don't. I'm afraid it will upset you if I tell you I'm offended. If I don't tell you I'm offended, I'm afraid you'll continue to offend me, and it will cause more distance down the road." This asks the other to join you in your dilemma and collectively work through the issue. Being inviting is the key. In healthy relationships, one partner does not want the other to be in a bind and will do whatever is necessary to relieve the pressure.  Also making statements about yourself is extremely defusing and creates less defensiveness.          "I am feeling pushed away."         "I want something better for us."         "I want to feel safe in your presence."         "I want to feel pursued again." How about you? How do you point out someone’s blind spots?   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

What does this mean? To me, “poverty" in relationships signifies a deficiency of emotional, mental, or spiritual richness in connections. I play many roles in life, and if I look at all of them, I can imagine there are some I could do a better job in. I am a husband, dad, uncle, grandfather, cousin, friend, leader, Christian, and the list goes on. How about you? Have you thought of the roles you play? As I look at my roles and ask myself, "Could I do better?"  The answer is, of course. I found it fascinating that sometimes I allow myself to live in relationship poverty. It's a tremendous blind spot, and I can see that my relationships could be better regardless of what role I play. It is fascinating that even though I know it, I generally don't make a plan to improve it. I look at my finances and see what I can do to improve my spending or savings. I look at where I live and what I drive and don't think twice about improving those two things. It is amazing that as important as relationships are, I spend very little time or attention on maintaining or building them. When I first meet someone, I put my best foot forward, showing the most polished version of myself. But over time— especially in long-term relationships —my more authentic, less polished side begins to surface. I can highlight myself as a victim in relationships. I can blame the other person, and when I blame, I don't have to change because I am not culpable in any way. What would it take to move my relationships from poverty to extraordinary? Sometimes, I have allowed myself to live more unhappy than joyful. What a tragedy. Do I want to continue to live in impoverished relationships, or do I want to go to work and build relationships that I feel proud to belong to? How about you? Watch for the blind spots. 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #RelationshipRealTalk, #EmotionalBankruptcy, #WakeUpCall, #BlindSpots, #GoDeeper, #FixTheRealStuff, #GrowthMindset, #FaithAndFire, #BreakTheCycle, #LevelUpLife, #ConnectionMatters, #NoMoreSurface, #OwnYourRole, #HeartCheck

I have often felt the need to do something, but then I allow fear to derail me, and I possibly miss out on many opportunities. Should I have asked for a raise, a promotion, or a transfer? Should I have stood up to someone who needed to hear my point of view? Did I extinguish my voice when I should have spoken up? How many times has my inner voice talked me down, and an opportunity was missed?   Fear has a way of constructing walls where there should be doors. It whispers doubts, magnifies risks, and convinces me that staying where I am is safer than stepping into the unknown. But doing so also keeps me stuck, holding me back from relief, progress, and the freedom I deeply crave.   I’ve learned that the real danger isn’t in trying and failing but never trying at all. I stagnate when I hold back, whether from fear of rejection, failure, or even success. Life moves forward, but I remain trapped behind the walls I’ve built. Ironically, the longer I stay behind them, the more I start to believe they’re unbreakable.   But what if those walls aren’t as solid as they seem? What if the only thing holding them up is the power I give them? The walls begin to crack whenever I push against fear, whether by taking a step, saying yes to an opportunity, or even admitting my hesitation.   I have a new way of dealing with my fears. Whenever fear tries to hold me back, I ask myself: Is this a fundamental limitation or one I’ve accepted as truth? Often, the only thing standing between me and the freedom I seek is the courage to overcome the fear instead of avoiding it. Looking back, I wish I had spoken up to so many things. Not because I regret missing the opportunity but because I now see how fear tricked me into believing I wasn’t ready. The truth?  I’m rarely fully  ready, but I grow by stepping forward anyway.   How about you? Is fear holding you back?   Watch for the blind spots.   Blind spots holding you back? 👀 Uncover  what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #BreakTheWalls #FearIsALiar #CourageOverComfort #MindsetShift #DoItAfraid #GrowthOverFear #SpeakUpForYourself #FromFearToFreedom #PersonalGrowthJourney #InnerStrength

I am constantly looking for ways to improve myself. Becoming a better version of myself means not only learning new skills and adopting better habits but also letting go of what holds me back. Growth requires shedding the thoughts, behaviors, and patterns that keep me stuck.   One of the biggest things I need to give up is the need for approval. For too long, I let other people’s opinions dictate my choices, seeking validation instead of trusting my instincts. But the more I listen to my voice, the freer I become.   Along with approval, I must also release comfort that leads to complacency. Comfort feels good, but when I settle in for too long, it dulls my ambition. Real growth requires stepping into discomfort, taking risks, trying new things, and pushing beyond what’s familiar.   Another thing I need to let go of is the fear of failure. I’ve spent years avoiding mistakes as if failure was something to be ashamed of. But failure isn’t the enemy, it proves I’m stretching myself. Every setback is a lesson, and every lesson moves me forward. Closely tied to this is self-doubt, that persistent inner voice whispering, “You’re not ready,” “You’re not enough.”  For too long, doubt has kept me from fully stepping into my potential. It’s time to replace hesitation with belief.   I also need to release the stories that no longer serve me. I tell myself stories about who I am; some are empowering, and others are limiting. If I tell myself I’m “too old,” “not smart enough,” or “not capable,” I start living within those walls.   It’s time to rewrite my script.   And finally, I must let go of perfectionism. Waiting for the perfect moment, skill set, or condition is a trap that keeps me paralyzed. Growth happens through imperfect action, learning, and adjusting as I go.   Becoming a better me isn’t about adding more but subtracting what no longer serves me.   What must you let go of to step into your best self?   Watch for the blind spots. Blind spots holding you back? 👀 Uncover  what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #ModernLeadership, #WixForLeaders, #VisionaryVoices, #LeadershipBlog, #FutureOfLeadership, #DigitalLeadership, #LeadWithPurpose, #EmpowermentBlog, #StrategyAndGrowth, #NextGenLeaders #WixTherapistWebsite, #CounselingBlog, #MarriageSupport, #FamilyHealing, #RelationshipAdvice, #TherapyTools, #OnlineCounselingTips, #MentalWellnessBlog, #HealingTogether, #WixForTherapists

Daniel, a retired NASA engineer, described sitting in his home office, gazing at the framed certificates on the walls. There were degrees, promotions, awards, and milestones of a distinguished career. Yet, instead of pride, he felt unexpected emptiness.   For years, he had worked tirelessly, chasing success, building stability, and achieving goals that once felt impossible. But now, something was missing, and he just couldn't put his finger on it.   We discussed a time in life when he might pause and ask, "What's next? " He may have settled into a rhythm that feels comfortable. Or maybe, without realizing it, he has slipped into stagnation, mistaking it for contentment.   We discussed that the moment we believe we've "arrived," we start fading into complacency.   So, where do I go from here, he asked.   Like Daniel, I have found comfort wonderful until it dulls my drive. It can be easy to think, "I've worked hard. I deserve to coast for a while. " While rest is necessary, staying in that mode too long leads to stagnation. Complacency whispers that I've done enough, and that growth is optional. But deep down, I know the truth: growth is a lifelong journey.   I find life is predictable. In the early stages, much energy is spent reaching for something, building a career, developing relationships, and finding financial security. The key is shifting from a mindset of achievement to one of expansion rather than simply accumulating,   Daniel and I discussed the following questions: How can I deepen my wisdom? How can I impact others in meaningful ways? How can I stretch beyond what I think I know?   Curiousness keeps me moving forward. What have I always wanted to explore? A new skill, a fresh perspective, an unexplored passion? When I engage with life as a learner, I never stop evolving.   Instead of seeing growth as something to chase, it becomes a natural part of who I am.   Where do you go from here when you reach that sense of accomplishment?   Watch for the blind spots.     Blind spots holding you back? 👀 Uncover  what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp   Family Counseling, Marriage Therapy, 21st Century Leadership, Emotional Intelligence, Relationship Coaching, Mental Health Awareness, Leadership Tools, Personal Growth, Counseling and Leadership, Healthy Communication

I talk to many parents, and every parent or guardian wants the best for their child. They push them to work hard, be disciplined, and strive for excellence. But there's a fine line between encouraging a child to grow and pushing them so hard that it breaks their spirit. Learning the value of hard work and persistence promotes self-discipline. Understanding consequences and taking responsibility for action enhances accountability. Knowing that they can overcome challenges with effort and determination builds confidence. However, when discipline turns into excessive criticism, unrealistic expectations, or constant pressure, it can harm a child's self-esteem and manifest as signs of a broken spirit. Avoiding challenges due to anxiety over making mistakes produces fear of failure. Giving up easily or feeling like they'll never be "good enough" shows up as a loss of motivation. Becoming distant, anxious, or overly self-critical lends to   emotional withdrawal. My friend Bill told me this story about his son Noah, who loved basketball. He practiced for hours every afternoon, dreaming of making the school team. Bill, a former athlete, saw his potential and pushed him harder. He created extra drills, longer practice sessions, and constant feedback. At first, Noah was motivated. But soon, Bill's words became more critical than encouraging. One evening, after another exhausting practice, Noah sat on the bench, staring down at his sneakers. "Dad, I don't want to play anymore," Noah said quietly. Bill was stunned. "What do you mean? You love basketball!" "I used to," Noah admitted. "But now, it feels like I can never be good enough." With some assistance, Bill realized his mistake, and he softened. Instead of barking orders the next day, he played a one-on-one game with Noah, laughing and encouraging him. Noah's love for the game slowly returned after a few weeks of consistent praise and fun. Noah did not feel overwhelmed or not good enough; he felt supported. Pushing a child to be their best is essential, as is preserving their joy and self-worth. The goal isn't perfection; it's growth. How about you? Is your parenting about encouraging or pushing too hard? Watch for the blind spots.   Blind spots holding you back? 👀 Uncover  what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #PositiveParenting 💪 #EncouragingGrowth 🌱 #ParentingJourney ❤️ #MindfulParenting 🧠 #ChildDevelopment 🚸 #RaisingConfidentKids #ParentingTips #SupportNotPressure #ParentingBlindSpots #HealthyMotivation

Chaos, uncertainty, worry, and fear, these emotions fuel anxiety, making life feel overwhelming and unmanageable. One phrase often emerges in the middle of a storm of racing thoughts: "I don't know."  While it might seem like an innocent admission of uncertainty, it often serves as a roadblock, keeping people stuck in their struggle rather than moving forward.   My friend Sarah's story about her good friend Emma is a good example. During a check-in call, Sarah asked Emma about her day. Emma said she was at her kitchen table, staring at the stack of bills she couldn't pay. Her mind swirled with worst-case scenarios: losing her apartment, disappointing her kids, and being judged by friends, even her best friend.   Sarah asked gently, "What's your plan?"   Emma went through all her worries and concerns and finished with a sigh. "I don't know."   Sarah paused. "Okay, but what's one small step you could take?"   Emma shrugged. "I don't know."   Sarah could hear the pain and frustration in Emma's voice. Emma wasn't just lacking answers; she was reinforcing her helplessness. The more she repeated, "I don't know,"  the deeper she sank into her anxiety. She wasn't searching for solutions; she was confirming that there were none.   When I say, "I don't know,"  I unknowingly give up my power. It feels like I am being honest, but it stops progress. Instead of exploring options, I declare that none exists.   What if, instead, we asked, "What can I do?"  or "What's one small step forward?"  These questions shift the mind from chaos to clarity. They create space for action rather than reinforcing fear.   For Emma, the change came when Sarah gently pushed back.   "If you did  know, what might you try?"   Emma hesitated, then sighed. "I guess I could ask my landlord for an extension."   That slight shift—from "I don't know"  to "I could" —changed everything.   When I feel stuck, the words I use matter. Instead of declaring uncertainty, I shift into possibility.  I am surprised at the answers that emerge.   How about you? Do you ever let "I don't know" become a roadblock?   Watch for the blind spots. Blind spots holding you back? 👀 Uncover  what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships  📚Get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #BreakThroughAnxiety, #SmallStepsBigChanges, #MindsetMatters, #FromChaosToClarity, #WordsHavePower, #OvercomeFear, #EmpoweredLiving, #ShiftYourMindset, #ClarityOverConfusion, #OneStepForward